Tag Archives: writing
Our Now – Harika Kottakoka
Old Friend – Alexandra Mayer
Fuck. It’s happening.
I’m feeling again.
Splayed open on the grass,
the sun makes my lipstick stick
and my dress cling.
And Old San Juan is cracking.
Paint stripped from Cafe Cola’o
digs beneath my fingers.
Let this place burrow inside of me.
Let the tourists trickle back to sea,
they’ll remember the pastel colors.
And my pink undies, lined in lace
peak out at the sky.
This isn’t about sex.
It’s about laughter.
I am the best friend.
Look back on what I’ve done and crumble
in awe, I am in love
with everything.
Flowers and vines won’t stop bursting from my eyes.
And he feels like home– like coffee rings on the old oak table,
on loose leaf paper, on my mother’s piano compositions.
I wish I could draw music.
It’s all just lines anyway.
like the dutch horizon,
threaded with tulips and crimson.
or the angles of a new york city corner
or the way night soothes the ocean.
I scribbled notes about what I’ve learned and how I’ve changed
on the train home from London.
Funny how an old mental institution with crusty yellow walls, and five locks turned to family.
Sometimes, I even miss that quivering light.
And I miss the electronic beats.
And biting my lip till it bled because I couldn’t feel my mouth.
And the wobbly bike and that damned quivering light.
I’m fluent in Spanish, but only when I’m drunk or dreaming.
He snatched my hand,
tore my bones away from the party.
Collapsed in a puddle and screamed.
“Scream with me.”
I did.
And rips of yellow, that crusty yellow, scattered the sky
And I started crying just because present always turns to past
And that’s the only thing I know.
“Are you okay?”
I am.
—
I tried calling the other day.
His voicemail recording is still the same:
“you are not dreaming.”
And the automated lady was curt when she said “goodbye.”
And the butterflies sleeping in my stomach finally woke up,
They stirred a bit, before flooding my lungs–
Only some tore their wings in my teeth on their way to the world.
I Pick Me – Brooke Safferman
I longed for the days we used to have
Back when we were free from our shadows
And the things that existed beneath the surface
But quite subtly but yet so boldly all at once, you had
Changed.
You were always my favorite escape
Until I knew all there was to know about you
Or so I thought.
Or so I thought.
You imprisoned me, kept me in a cage with steel bars built of your emotions
Some metallic alloy composed of your cruelty and my acceptance of something Primitive and unforgiving
Your rules were Creed and Scripture and Rhythm
Every word you spoke dictated the very substance of my life,
All actions traced back to you.
But could you blame me, really?
Spellbound by the authoritative way your lips moved across my own
I lost myself somewhere
In between the “I love you”’s and the “You’re the best”’s
I knew who you really were:
A ruler and a tyrannical dictator
Control was your elixir, Power, your mighty Pandora’s Box
As much as I crave you, sublime in all your mercilessness,
There is something I must tell you:
I Pick Me.
And I must walk away.
Menen – Ian Dean
As far as I can see I admire you,
And so you have inadvertently lead me into folly.
But how could you, that has said so little,
Lead so passionately without even speaking?
As misunderstood as the worth of diamond
The thought of speech of the beauty not siren.
Such a note that is yet unsung;
I wish to hear your native tongue
Which I have been told is nothing more than
What can be found, and has been, here
Regardless of how shallow informant’s depth
Your vibrant face is full of breath
As brown as coffee of your country
I found you new as herder Kaldi
And often, I know, I’ll meet your face
A habesha girl with hair of grace,
That shelters you from eyes of envy,
Rests as soft as your skins consistency
As passionate as my perceived bestiality,
I have yet to know of your personality.
Past waves of tef that equal nigh
The count of stars found in your eyes
Had cursed men and sent to die!
They look to much in glaring skies.
Will you take me as am?
Consider despite a foreign man,
Or maybe was it yet my plan
That led me here by my hand?
Could you ever gave the damn,
To hush the world and take my hand?
The One Who Knew Me Best, The First One I’d Never Lose – Brooke Safferman
My dreams are haunted by
The loss of you, The One Who Knew Me Best.
Golden hair thicker than the forest
That we took a walk in that first time
You kissed me
And I vowed you would be
The First One I’d Never Lose.
Here I am, a year later and still scratching
My first two initials with that of your last name
Onto my notebooks like some 10-year-old in puppy love
Onto my desk chair like a punk who sits in the back of the classroom
Into my heart with each and every memory
Of the way your face lit up when you bought me tiny sunflowers,
Of the earnest sound of your laugh when I told old jokes
that weren’t even funny,
Of your whispering breath when you told me how I was
The Girl You Had Always Wanted To Find.
Time is a funny thing I’ll never understand;
The older it grows, so does your soul.
But mark my words:
No matter how many days and
Hours and
Minutes and
Seconds tick on by
On the retro cat clock with the scanning eyes
(Back-and-forth, back-and-forth)
That you had given to me as our last anniversary present,
Well,
Just know that there will never be another you.
You and me, we were burgled that night.
A hit-and-run,
A drunk driver and his equally drunken friends,
Robbers.
They stole your life,
And they stole you away from me.
So rest in peace,
The One Who Knew Me Best,
The First One I’d Never Lose.
I will Love you always.
-The Girl You Had Always Wanted to Find
The Way I Want to Be Remembered – Iman Messado
All I’ve ever wanted to be was
the warmth of my favorite plush animal.
I’ve never said a word about
the smell of a new pair of shoes.
I want to be
the sunlight caught in my niece’s eyelashes,
the ink on a college acceptance letter,
the wrapper of your last tampon.
Who ever said I thought about
the tag of a new cardigan?
If you talk to me about the
way that my grandmother’s curtains
do the jitterbug when the summer breeze arrives;
about the hot peach tea that burned by 11 year old tongue,
then we might be on the same page.
But don’t you dare mention the lingering scent
of some $90 perfume on my wrist.
Chance – Harika Kottakota
Four Years – Kaavya Raman
Four years,
First two, emotional roller coaster,
Third, a discovery period,
Fourth to come.
Four years,
Friendship struggles,
Loss of friends,
Gain of friends,
Friends who stick around.
Four years,
Creativity versus practicality,
Practicality is the norm,
But creativity prevails.
Four years,
Proud of myself,
10 year old me would be ecstatic,
18 year old me is yet to come.
The Exception to the Rule – Brooke Safferman
The leaves tickle my bare feet
Dew drops beaming proudly in the coral-lit world
Peachy skies raining euphoria upon our giggling bodies
6am; we’re the only people who exist.
And your lips tickle my elbows
Nothing is as sweet as the whispered “I love you”s
Or the way I lose track of what is my hair and
what is the grass.
The moisture of the ground beneath my back trickles
Through the cotton fibers of my starchy eyelet dress
White is the color of purity, but more importantly,
that of your soul.
With your arms around me
I know that we will be
The Couple That Lasts.
And we will be
The Sweethearts
The When-Are-They-Gonna-Get-Married-Already
The Exception To The Rule.
I watch the birds fly by up above us
And I imagine we are one of them
We are too young to be in this deep,
But we couldn’t care, even if we desired to.
“We already are one,”
you say and you smile.
I lace my hand into your own.
The Exception To The Rule.