Oh, Mother Nature – Karlee Sanders
the sky cries for you, my dear. when you’re sad, so are the clouds.
Human Nature – Ivy Juniper Manchester
Aerial Views – Matt Grydzuk
And so you were skipping stones across ponds
“Every time I walk past a balcony I think of throwing my phone over it.”
Same, but I think of throwing myself over
For just a split second, then realize it’d be too up-front
Too gaudy, and then it sort of fizzles out
And so you were skipping stones across rivers
Playing records backwards to get the real meaning
“I think maybe I should leave,” you said
But I could never understand how someone could fit
That much sadness in such a small thing
And so you were skipping stones across canals
“They’re all just intersecting lines,” you said
We’re all just intersecting lines
You followed up with
I think that maybe people don’t know you
As well as they should have
And so you were skipping stones across lakes
Hands tied behind your back, you were writhing
“I don’t want to be here!” You said, taken out of context
Were placed anywhere else
You didn’t know how to address matters outside of literal meaning
So you just stopped talking
So you just stopped addressing the bleach stains
And so you were skipping stones across deltas
Frozen over for a long while, now thawed, you turned to me and said
“I think this is where depression stops and starts”
And so I am standing at the edge of the balcony
For the first time thinking of throwing something else over
Thinking, “Maybe”
“Just maybe, one can make a monologue out of anything.”
Looking for Lost Words – Elena Barrera-Waters
I think there’s a reason I’ve always loved mornings when no one is awake yet, or sentences that take up half a page, or sitting cross-legged in the dark of my room at one in the morning. There’s something significant to me that comes from being entirely taken away from the world, in the literal sense and also the figurative. I read a book recently that quoted Henry David Thoreau, “Not till we are lost, in other words, not till we are lost from the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are in the infinite extent of our relations”, who was able to speak everything I think about in words more elegant, more reflective, more well put together than mine could ever be. And that itself was able to take me away from the world, just a little snippet of words mushed together that were able to make mine feel insignificant, but in just the right kind of motivational way. I write when I’m alone, and that’s always been for a reason. That’s when I see most clearly, that’s when everything blocking my mind suddenly is able to poof into dust that will not return until I am finished. Of course, it’s not just writing, it’s an endless number of things that I do better on my own, no matter how much I sometimes wish and hope and dream of the day I could do everything in the presence of people, and do it well. I can’t yet, though. And that’s ok. It only takes Henry David Thoreau to convince me that, yes, my desire to be taken away and separated from so many of life’s busy tasks is just a part of life, and eventually it will be these little lost moments that help me to discover those words I’ve been hoping to write all along.
Donations for Holiday Gerrity
Hi y’all.
One of our most beloved writers, Haley, has gone through an absurd amount in the past few days. It would mean a lot to us and her if you would donate to her girlfriend’s family: http://bit.ly/1Hl6qQd
Highway – Sydney Adams
he was a highway.
stuck one place never able to move on
his journey had ended though the road was endless
he sat day in and day out as people came into his life only to leave instantaneously
leaving him with nothing but a vast emptiness and a heart as black as asphalt
s.a.
Deported – Alexandra Mayer
I heard bodies and sledge hammers slap the cold concrete
bodies climbed over each other
and bodies flooded out
to blue jeans and radio.
“Tear down this wall Gorbachev…
Freedom is the victor!”
And I wanted to run away too
to microwaves.
I was greedy.
Yesterday’s ghosts trashed our streets.
The old bakery crumbled under eulogies.
Bottles scattered the park, where my sister stole the lips of her first love
Life was decaying.
The woman offered me $500 a month
How could I have thought–
Her hands weren’t like ours.
They were soft and white.
Soon, mine would be too.
She told me I’d be a waitress.
He told me to bend over.
His eyes were cigarettes, put out on my thigh.
“This hurts!”
“What are you doing? I’m here to serve!”
“You’ll be serving alright.”
I wanted to die.
Months in peeling walls
staring down the balcony
while he clasps his meaty hands around my neck
and he shoves his gaunt fingers into my body
and he wants me to suck on his thumb.
My youngest client was 12
His father brought him.
My oldest was 82.
My body is the “unavoidable consequence of globalization.”
My body is the supply.
This is free trade. Unfettered capitalism.
I guess that makes me a business woman.
Not a victim– A business woman.
You can charge twice as much if you’re pregnant.
They like a nice glow
Hope makes a girl prettier, you know.
Months more in peeling walls
Thousands more hands
Sometimes sixty hands a day.
Staring down the balcony.
The man I was sold to ripped a hole in the mattress
shoved my stomach through
so their hands could be more comfortable.
It’s okay.
We’ll get out. We’ll get out.
I am not a victim.
We’ll get out.
I love you.
A man with cracked yellow hands started to pity me
It was his sixth visit when
he led me down the stairs and into the street.
It’d been two years since my feet touched the ground.
Three days later, falling into a hospital bed.
She’s more beautiful than the sun
dipping into the fields we toiled
than dirt stained sun dresses
than my sister’s laugh
than any young, and naive, and alive eyes I’d ever seen.
She’s beautiful and her hands are so small and so clean.
The man I was sold to hovers into the room
and over her.
I scream.
Two policemen rush in.
I recognize their hands
When they say to me:
“Get out you’re old
you’re minced meat.
We want a new body. Always a new body.
You can’t take her with you.
It’s the law.”
Worldly Pleasures – Karlee Sanders
She filled her life with worldly pleasures. She knew she was frequently disturbing the lives of cautious do-gooders, but she didn’t care. And although she didn’t care, she would send them letters purposely laced with the scent of her vodka telling just how “sorry she was for accidentally running over their mailbox” or how “she didn’t mean to slash their tires, she thought it was her ex’s truck, naturally anybody could make that mistake.” All in sarcasm, you could presume. She was carefree and having the time of her life even when everything seemed to be going wrong. Obviously, I knew her well. She was my best friend; and those were her glory years.
Now, I call her at work and she complains to me how her students are too “wild” and it makes me chuckle because all of that alcohol she indulged in just might have erased the memories of her crazy days. She was a teenager once.
Remember that your teachers were once the people you are now. They may seem like fuddy-duddies and old hags, but if you look in their eyes, you might just see the same teen spirit lurking in your eyes, in theirs. She filled her life with worldly pleasures. She knew she was frequently disturbing the lives of cautious do-gooders, but she didn’t care. And although she didn’t care, she would send them letters purposely laced with the scent of her vodka telling just how “sorry she was for accidentally running over their mailbox” or how “she didn’t mean to slash their tires, she thought it was her ex’s truck, naturally anybody could make that mistake.” All in sarcasm, you could presume. She was carefree and having the time of her life even when everything seemed to be going wrong. Obviously, I knew her well. She was my best friend; and those were her glory years.
You Called Me the Sun – Ivy Juniper Manchester
The world does not breathe until I do.
I send out love like I know what I’m looking for but the plants and animals soak in the rays, never once wondering where the heat comes from never once feeling blessed but god isn’t it just so human to pretend? When it rains they beg me not to be sad and when it thunders they all run and hide. But when it doesn’t, and the sky stays clear, I don’t matter again. The curtains are pulled aside and thank god the people can continue their lives. All i want to do is love you but if i love you too much, you spite me for my warmth; when I give you space, you beg me to come back.
Forgive my indiscretion but why do you keep saying it’s okay?